


Between the Lines

by prompt_fills



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Requited Love, Secrets, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-18 10:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5925064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prompt_fills/pseuds/prompt_fills
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler gets a new number and Jamie doesn’t get the memo. Coincidentally, this girl Jamie met in a bar starts texting him and it turns out she’s really, really cool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between the Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Goes AU from April 2015 – the last road trip of the season is one huge losing streak and Tyler’s knee is still injured so he’s not playing in the remaining few games.
> 
> (Also, Tyler doesn’t mean to be a catfish.)
> 
> Many thanks to my lovely beta Frankies Tiara who had been both precise and gentle with correcting my mistakes. I’m also grateful to Misswhy for her feedback. And finally, a huge thank-you to Dex who gave me her encouragement and constant support without even knowing this fandom. ♥

**…**

  
  
Jamie meets Emma in the second week of April in San José.  
  
Early into the night, the guys notice a girl looking at Jamie. They’re at a bar, drinking away their last loss, and she’s right there, making eyes. Jamie goes to join her, Antoine slapping his back as he gets up from their table.  
  
The girl, Emma, is hot, likeable and patient. She lets Jamie do most of the talking, which he’s not really comfortable with but it’s better than listening to the guys nagging him all night.  
  
Jamie and Emma talk and laugh, and she eventually persuades him on to the dance floor. He lets her take his hand and drag him out there. They stay close together, swaying to the music and exchanging a few kisses here and there. At the end of the night, Jamie doesn’t leave with her.  
  
He finds her name and number scribbled down on a piece of napkin in the left pocket of his jacket the next day. He looks down at it, sighs, and tosses the napkin away. He’s pretty sure that’s the end of it, except maybe for Jordie ribbing him about it during the upcoming flight.  
  
They fly south from San José to Anaheim and check into their hotel. Jamie’s pretty beat, so he puts his phone on mute and takes a nap. It’s not like he’s got anywhere to be and he relies on Jordie to come collect his ass if he’s needed. When he wakes up, there is a missed call from Tyler and a text message on his phone from an unknown number. He opens it on autopilot and frowns.  
  
_getting bored. kinda wish u were here w/ me_ , the text reads.  
  
Jamie doesn’t remember giving, er – Emma, the name on the napkin said Emma – his number. Maybe Emma managed to get it as well as leave the napkin behind to make sure he wouldn’t forget her? There had been drinks. And music. And _dancing_. And the team silently judging his moves from their table. Jamie stares at the text for a few seconds, contemplating. _Me too, baby_ , he types back. It’s harmless enough.  
  
_sry bout how yesterday ended up. make me proud tmrw_  
  
Jamie’s not sure if it’s about the game or the way he left her last night. Lazily, he thumbs the screen. _Will do._  
  
He receives a smiley face in return so he doesn’t feel obliged to write anything more. He shakes his head, slips his phone into his pocket and goes to find out what the rest of the guys are up to.  
  
The game they play sucks just as much as the one they played two days before.  
  
Jamie misses Tyler out there on the ice with them but it’s not just that. It’s shaping up to be a miserable end of the season.  
  
Jamie’s boards the plane with a sinking feeling in his gut and with a new text on his phone: _fly safe, losers_  
  
Tyler doesn’t answer his phone when Jamie remembers to call him back.  


**…**

  
  
The thing is, the texts just keep coming. At first they’re annoying and Jamie doesn’t bother answering most of them but it doesn’t seem to deter Emma. After a few days Jamie gets sort of used to them and by the end of the week he wakes up and realizes he is actually looking forward to Emma’s short snappy texts. She somehow knows just how much of her not-all-that-gentle ribbing he can take.  
  
Jamie can’t pinpoint the moment he starts to fall for her but he knows his reluctantly amused approach swiftly gets out of hand, mutating into warm affection.  
  
He’s surprised how easy it is. He never pictured himself as someone who could fall in love fast but the thing with Emma feels right. She is quite straightforward in her attitude and it’s refreshing. She makes him laugh and blush and check his phone more often than he is willing to acknowledge to himself.  
  
Their schedules don’t really match so they end up texting all the time, the replies coming whenever they can get back to their phones. Sometimes it’s maddening, waiting for an answer for hours but Jamie can do patient.

When he brings it up, Emma just texts back _srry,u knw i’m shy_ even though she definitely wasn’t shy when he first met her and she doesn’t sound shy in her texts either. It feels like she’s making fun of him again but this time it makes no sense. Still, there’s just something about her that’s intriguing enough that Jamie lets it slide.  
  
The texting is actually _better_ than his last attempt at dating. It’s the distance between them that makes him feel safe. She can’t take it to the next level without him ever realizing, without him being okay with it. So, distance it is.  
  
Jordie is the first to remark on the constant texting. It’s not like Jamie is trying to hide it or anything. He knows he’s often smiling stupidly at the screen of his phone because Emma’s fun, outspoken and quick-witted personality draws him in. This side of her gets past his defences super fast because he doesn’t remember seeing that in her that first night at the bar. It makes something warm curl in his chest, thinking that she too had to know him better to open up to him, to show him that side of her.  
  
“What are you smiling about?” Jordie asks, slinging one arm around Jamie’s shoulders and trying to take a peek at the screen. Jamie tilts the screen away from his brother’s prying eyes.  
  
“It’s nothing.” Yet. But it might be.  
  
Jordie’s eyes narrow but he lets go of Jamie. He doesn’t push for now. “Whatever, man. You’re not fooling anyone.” He says it with the air of someone who knows Jamie will break on his own, sooner or later. “Let’s get going. We’re supposed to be at the stadium in a few.”  
  
“Would be nice to end with a win.”  
  
“If we lose, you’re spilling the beans about who you’re texting.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“If we lose, you’re making me dinner?”  
  
“Deal,” Jamie agrees easily. “But we can win this one.”  
  
Getting ready for a last game of the season leaves a sour taste in Jamie’s mouth. Tyler has a different attitude. He’s obviously made peace with them not making it into the playoffs this year and he’s enjoying what little time of the season is left. He’s constantly making silly jokes and his good mood is catching.  
  
Tyler doesn’t get to play against the Preds. It’s a home game, so at least he sticks around, being his usual goofy self. Jamie pretends not to notice Tyler shooting longing glances towards the ice every now and then.  
  
They lose to the Preds pretty much like they lost to them last Saturday.  
  
It’s a bitter dot to mark the bitter tumble their season has taken. Jamie feels how unjust it is – they have a good team and they are competitive. And now they’re clearing out their lockers for the summer with plenty of time to overanalyze every single minute of the season.  
  
Jamie takes in a steadying breath and wills himself to think positively. Tyler looks up from where he’s slouching against the lockers when Jamie comes into the room.  
  
“It’s good to have you around,” Jamie admits, stepping close to haul Tyler into an one-armed hug.  
  
“I wasn’t much of a good luck charm,” Tyler protests but he doesn’t struggle to get away from Jamie.  
  
“Don’t quit your day job, then.”  
  
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Listen, um,” Tyler drops his voice, “can we meet up, later?”  
  
Jamie continues past Tyler to peer into his locker once more to make sure he’s not leaving anything behind. He gives Tyler a look over his shoulder. “We’re going out for sure. Everyone will be there.”  
  
“Yeah, sure. I meant – later?”  
  
Jamie shrugs. “Don’t know about that, man. Wasn’t planning on cutting it short tonight.”  
  
“Oh.” Tyler shoves his hands into his pockets. He’s still leaning against the lockers and watching Jamie with a strangely intense gaze. There is a beat of silence, then Tyler asks in a surprisingly small voice. “So, tomorrow?”  
  
Jamie hauls his bag over one shoulder. “I already promised Jordie– But don’t worry,” he adds when he sees how Tyler’s face falls, “we’ll have plenty of time to talk tonight. Plenty of time before I head home for the summer. Let’s go. I’m buying the first round.” He reaches for Tyler’s neck with his free hand, steering his friend out of the room.  
  
Tyler’s exuberance remains dulled for the rest of the night; the end of the season must be finally dawning on him, too, Jamie thinks.  


**…**

  
  
Since they lost the last game, Jamie owes his brother dinner.  
  
He stands in the middle of his kitchen, rummaging for a bowl. Jordie should be over in forty minutes so Jamie starts with chopping the onions, sniffling awkwardly. He wants to get this part done before Jordie comes over and starts judging him.  
  
Then he cracks a few eggs on the pan, scrambles them, pokes them around with a fork. He’s careful where he’s sticking the fork so he doesn’t scratch the bottom of the pan. He’s just never gotten around to using that fancy plastic turner Tyler gave him. It’s still sitting somewhere in his cabinet, very likely in its original wrapping.  
  
The main course isn’t much of a hassle but it’s the end of the season and Jamie wants to bake a dessert, too.  
  
He glares at the sticky lumpy mess in the bowl that he was supposed to ‘mix until well blended’. Damned recipes.  
  
He rolls up his sleeves against the edge of the counter and sticks his hands inside the bowl, working on the dough with his hands.  
  
The door down the hallway clicks open as Jordie invites himself in, not even bothering to buzz.  
  
“Hey!” Jamie calls out in a greeting. “You’re right on time – to help me.”  
  
“I’m going to help you by not getting into your way,” Jordie shouts, his voice becoming clearer as he makes his way through the house.  
  
“At least text Tyler to come over for dinner! You don’t mind, right?”  
  
“Text him yourself,” Jordie calls back.  
  
Jamie waits until Jordie peeks into the kitchen and then pointedly holds up his sticky hands.  
  
“Ugh. All right, all right, I’ll call him,” Jordie says and wanders off into the dining room to make the call.  
  
Jamie is quickly trying to finish his struggle with the dough and since his brother isn’t breathing down his neck and there is no one to see it, he pours in some extra milk right from the fridge until the mixture comes to its senses. Then he pours the dough into the tray and shoves it into the oven, praying for the best.  
  
The dessert ends up being laughably thin so Jamie cuts it into squares and serves it piled up, with a bit of cinnamon sprinkled on the top. He takes a picture for Emma so she can laugh at his silly attempts but also so she knows he’s just human. She doesn’t text back till the next day but unlike Jordie and Tyler, who laugh their asses off before devouring it all, Emma is sympathetic and kind and her advice is actually useful and her teasing is good-natured.  
  
After the dinner, Jamie doesn’t spend any time alone with Tyler until the pre season.  
  
Jordie gets to see Tyler before he leaves Texas but Tyler leaves without saying a proper goodbye to Jamie.  
  
“I thought he looked bummed after the last game,” Jordie reports, “but you should have seen his face today. You would have thought he was being sentenced to death and not going off to play for Canada. Weird, right?”  
  
“Weird,” Jamie agrees.  
  
If Jamie didn’t know any better, he might think Tyler is actively trying to avoid him. But it’s probably just that they are both terribly busy.  
  
For the summer, Tyler goes to Europe and Jamie goes to the hospital to have his operation.  
  
Emma’s life seems to be as hectic as ever; she said she already took some days off back in May to go on a vacation. Now that she’s gotten in over her head at her office job, she barely has any time to wind down.  
  
They still don’t talk – though Jamie doesn’t remember her being bashful. Then again, he doesn’t remember her much. Were it not for the texts that managed to get under his skin despite his better judgement, he would have forgotten all about meeting Emma in that downtown bar of San José.  
  
Jamie tries to keep in touch with everyone during the break, sending the odd text every once in awhile so it won’t feel so strange when they get back together again. Tyler gets a new number while in the Europe and Jordie grumbles about it a lot, complaining about Tyler working his way through different phone numbers faster than his sticks.  
  
“It’s not like he’s changing it every week, stop whining,” Jamie tells him as he punches Tyler’s new number into his phone.  
  
Jordie gives him a strange look but doesn’t elaborate.  
  
Jamie toys with the idea of surprising Emma with a visit but he doesn’t think they are at _that_ stage of the _relationship_ yet and he’s the last person who is going to rush things. He likes how old fashioned they’re being about things; getting to know each other’s personalities rather than falling head over heels and finding out they have nothing in common once the haze is over.  
  
Jamie doesn’t see Emma again but as her texts grow fonder, he longs to hear her voice again. One late night in particular when he’s feeling woozy from his painkillers but he can’t sleep, Emma is being especially charming. After she makes a smart-ass comment on his last text, he decides he wants to call her. He usually texts her silly little details about his daily routine. She does the same; sharing tiny snippets of her life, random remarks on random things, so Jamie feels relaxed, sharing little secrets with her. It feels wrong that they are so close and yet he can barely remember what her voice sounded like.  
  
Jamie sucks in a breath and types: _Care to talk for a while?_  
  
_sure,can’t sleep either. text away! ;)_  
  
He leaves it at that. He’s just extremely glad that he has Emma to keep him company and her little texts are what makes his days fly by.  
  
It makes Jordie worry, the nature of Jamie’s relationship with Emma. But he doesn’t really know much about it and Jamie is still not keen on cluing him in so the conversation basically boils down to – “I just. I’d hate to see your heart get broken, Chubbs.” Jamie doesn’t relent so when Jordie sees how genuinely happy Emma makes him, he lets it be.  
  
It’s a long summer and a long recovery but Emma is there with him, just a text away, always knowing what to say to Jamie.  


**…**

  
  
Then the summer break is over and by this point, Jamie has to admit he is addicted to Emma’s texts. As they adjust to Dallas again, he finally caves in when Jordie keeps giving him pointed looks whenever he catches Jamie smiling goofily at his phone.  
  
“Sooo,” Jordie drawls, scratching his beard. Jamie has grown to be wary of that particular drawl and sure enough, when he glances over, Jordie’s eyes are full of mischief.  
  
Jamie crosses his arms but doesn’t say anything.  
  
“Are we talking about this or not?”  
  
“Not?” Jamie tries. The way Jordie’s left eyebrow twitches upwards tells him he’s fucked. “Her name is Emma,” he starts, reluctant.  
  
Jamie doesn’t share much detail because the thing with Emma is his own business. He definitely doesn’t tell Jordie about how strange Emma has been acting when Jamie tries to get them to have a phone call.  
  
It’s enough that it’s bothering Jamie. He doesn’t need Jordie to remind him every waking minute.  
  
Emma’s last text starts with _hi there, handsome_ and escalates quickly from there. When the messages start to get frisky, Jamie bites his lip and with nervous fingers he clumsily types: _Hey, can I call you?_ That should prevent any confusion this time.  
  
_srry, out w/ the girls_  
  
Jamie is bummed and the jealous voice in his head keeps describing Emma sitting at some scuzzy bar – not with her friends but all alone – making eyes at other guys. He feels shitty for even thinking that but the voice isn’t to be muted. It’s so easy to imagine it. It’s not like she looked dejected when he left the bar without her the first time they met. The _only_ time they met.  
  
Jaime rubs a palm against his mouth and tries to gather his thoughts.  
  
It’s that the vibe he got from her in person was so different. She was courageous and bold, a little flirty. Convenient and forgettable. He is incredibly glad she kept texting so he got to know and appreciate the real her, not just the shallow shell she put up front.  


**…**

  
  
Having Tyler over at his house feels a lot different than having Tyler over at the old apartment.  
  
Jamie pulls the front door open and steps aside so the dogs can come barging in. “You realize you should come inside first, then let the dogs follow you, right?” Jamie reprimands Tyler instead of a greeting.  
  
“Ah,” Tyler waves his hand, “let them be dogs.”  
  
“You’re such an awesome alpha.”  
  
Tyler bares his teeth and lets out an exaggerated growl that makes Jamie’s lips twitch.  
  
They watch some stupid movie and they play games for a while and Jamie missed this. Him and Tyler, just chilling out.  
  
Tyler is sprawled over the couch in the living room and his dogs are _not_ all over him so they must have snuck out to Jamie’s bedroom again. They love to curl up on Jamie’s bed and sleep and Jamie always pretends to be very outraged but never really minds.  
  
He’s just about to tell Tyler off in mock anger and make him go collect the dogs when his phone chimes with a new message. Jamie hastily fumbles to get his phone. He hasn’t heard from Emma at all today.  
  
“You promised me! No phones, no distractions!” Tyler cries. He manages to snatch Jamie’s phone from his hands. “I haven’t seen you all summer so you’re not spending tonight glued to your phone.”  
  
“Hey!” Jamie’s heart clenches at the thought of Tyler seeing the text from Emma and reading over their conversations. They’re private.  
  
He makes to grab his phone back but Tyler manages to keep him away, laughing, trying to open the text and read it. Tyler shields the phone with his body, so Jamie tackles him from behind. Tyler goes down, laughing, Jamie plastered to his back.  
  
Jamie gets up and pokes Tyler’s waist to get him moving. Tyler submits the phone. “I bet it’s just your loving brother texting you.”  
  
Jamie is disappointed to find out that it’s indeed not a text from Emma.  
  
“Admit it, he’s the only one who texts you, no need to get all pumped up,” Tyler teases.  
  
“Shut up!” Jamie says, sharper than necessary. Tyler gapes at him and Jamie takes advantage of his distraction, grabs a cushion from the couch and smacks Tyler in his stomach.  
  
Tyler fakes a choking noise but swiftly takes hold of the pillow and returns the blow.  
  
The commotion lures the dogs out and gets them excited. Soon, they’re chasing the dogs around the couch, wheezing and laughing. Jamie’s favourite moment is when Cash leaps over the couch and steals a cushion from Tyler’s hand, the same cushion Tyler had just won over Jamie, and runs away with it.  
  
Jamie later finds the pillow under the kitchen table and his phone buried in the couch. He’s still too giddy when he goes to sleep to be upset that Emma never texted him that evening.  


**…**

  
  
Jamie is getting ready to leave the locker room when the phone buzzes in his pocket. He’s dying to read the text since he has no doubts it’s from Emma. But Jamie promised Jordie to hang out with him and Jordie is waiting for him, tapping his foot. Jamie doesn’t feel like checking the text in front of Jordie and having to deal with him being nosy. He doesn’t want to appear desperate, either.  
  
He tells himself Emma can wait for a while; she’s used to the delayed responses by now. He tells himself he can wait for a while, too. Jordie insists on Jamie driving them home, probably only so that he can criticise Jamie’s driving the whole way.  
  
Jordie keeps fiddling with his phone. Jamie watches him with the corner of his eye. Jordie catches his gaze, holds up his phone and shakes it. “I texted Tyler to come over as well. Haven’t really had the time to catch up with him yet.”  
  
“Sure,” Jamie shrugs, keeping both hands firmly on the steering wheel.  
  
The dinner is nearly over and Jamie still hasn’t had the chance to read Emma’s text. He’s dying with curiosity. Finally, Jordie takes a bathroom break. Jamie waits for Tyler to take a huge bite of his meal and then asks him how Cash is doing with the obedience training thing. Tyler is always easy to distract when you know the right questions to ask. Jamie would feel bad for playing Tyler like that but he still hasn’t had the chance to read Emma’s text. He doesn’t even know what the text says but he can already feel the bubble of happiness that goes together with receiving her texts.  
  
Tyler’s face lights up as he starts talking, describing the dog’s latest escapades in great detail, completely engrossed.  
  
Trying to be stealthy about it, Jamie slips his phone out of his pocket and, shielded by the table, finally reads the message.  
  
Emma texted him: _what r u doing this evening?_  
  
Jamie feels a smile tug at the corner of his lips and he ducks his head, typing his answer.  
  
_Having dinner with the guys. :) You had a busy day?_  
  
With his heart light, he pockets his phone and focuses on Tyler’s story because he’s actually interested in an update on the dogs. He really is. “So, you still thinking about doing the agility courses with them over the break?”  
  
Tyler makes a face. “Dude, I was just saying that! Weren’t you listening?”  
  
Jamie feels the colour raise to his cheeks. “I was,” he says. It’s only a half-lie but when Tyler pouts, affronted, Jamie is pretty sure his ears are turning bright red as well.  
  
Jordie comes back to the table, snorts when he sees Jamie and leans over to ruffle his hair as he goes by. It used to be Jordie’s everyday mission to make Jamie uncomfortable enough to see his cheeks flame. Apparently, some hobbies you can never outgrow. “What’s he blushing for?” Jordie asks Tyler.  
  
Tyler folds his arms. “I think it must be a girl.”  
  
Jamie studies the damp print his beer left on the table. “Shut up,” he mutters.  
  
Jordie elbows Tyler and says in a staged, whispered tone, “I know it is a girl. Her name’s Emma.”  
  
Jamie blushes even more. “Jordie!” He growls, indignant.  
  
Tyler’s shoulder sag and he doesn’t say anything more on the subject.  
  
Jordie goes back home to Jessica but Tyler stays over longer, the two of them hanging out, watching a movie until it starts getting really late and Jamie feels his eyes become heavier.  
  
The credit sequence rolls. Tyler stretches out and yawns. “I should get back to my place. What time is it anyway?”  
  
Jamie yawns as well. “Dunno. Late. You can crash upstairs.”  
  
Tyler peers at his phone and makes a face, “It’s not that late and I’m not that drunk.”  
  
“’Kay,” Jamie says around another yawn. He adjusts one of the cushions that has been poking at his shoulder blade and settles again. He is incredibly sleepy and the thought of getting up to brush his teeth and change for the night makes him groan.  
  
He doesn’t realize his eyes are shut and he’s about to doze off until he’s feeling like he’s toppling sideways. He jerks backwards, his hand shooting up to grip the armrest.  
  
Then he sighs and sits up properly, scrubbing at his face.  
  
“I’ll see myself out,” Tyler says, clearing his throat.  
  
Jamie startles because he thought Tyler had already left. “Um. Okay.”  
  
Tyler is staring at him intently and his eyes look hollow in the dim light of the room.  
  
“Is everything okay?”  
  
Tyler opens his mouth, then closes it. Then he croaks, “Yeah, it’s just getting late. I’m gonna go now.”  
  
Jamie searches Tyler’s face but Tyler gets up suddenly, turning away and heading out. Jamie watches after him, watches how tense Tyler’s shoulders are and how his hand clenches into a fist. Tyler pauses at the threshold, looking over his shoulder. “Night, Jamie,” he says. His voice sounds wrecked.  
  
Jamie is wide awake at this point. “Tyler? Has something happened?”  
  
Tyler presses his lips together and shakes his head. “Nah, man. I was just being stupid.”  
  
Tyler is gone before Jamie can think of a reply.  


**…**

  
  
“Hey, where’s the better Benn?” Tyler taps his shoulder as they’re making their way out of the rink. Jamie points to where Jordie is talking on the phone, looking solemn.  
  
They both wait for Jordie to join them in a silence Jamie begins to think is not actually that companionable.  
  
“That was mom, she wants us both there for the wedding,” Jordie nods to Jamie.  
  
A pained moan escapes Jamie. “Do we really have to?”  
  
“Who’s getting married?” Tyler chimes in.  
  
“Our little cousin–” Jamie starts saying but Jordie interrupts him, frustrated.  
  
“Everyone. Everyone’s getting married. I swear if I have to attend one more wedding before Christmas, I’ll–”  
  
“Oh shut up,” Jamie swats his arm at Jordie. “It’s nice to see little Becky all grown up and happy.”  
  
“She thinks she found _the one_ ,” Jordie tells Tyler, then adds, “she found him online.” They both laugh, though Tyler’s laughter sounds a bit forced if you were to ask Jamie.  
  
“Don’t knock it. I believe in that stuff. I’m sure they’ll make it work,” Jamie says, thinking about his Emma, miles away.  
  
“That’s just because you’re a hopeless romantic,” Jordie quickly cards his fingers through Jamie’s hair, creating a mess.  
  
“Is that about the texting?” Tyler asks tightly. “Don’t you think you’re just chasing–”  
  
“No,” Jamie says quick and firm. He gives Jordie a quick, sharp look, because it’s some dirty pool trying to get Tyler to nag him about Emma, too. Then he turns to glare at Tyler.  
  
Tyler holds both of his hands up and drops the subject. He excuses himself shortly after, supposedly to get back to his dogs.  
  
“I thought he wanted to talk to you,” Jamie says, puzzled.  
  
“Beats me,” Jordie replies, frowning.  


**…**

  
  
“What’s up with Tyler?” Jordie asks him before practise two days later.  
  
“Uh, dunno?” Jamie says, glancing up to look at Tyler carefully taping his stick across the room. The shining aura of energy everyone can usually feel around him seems to be missing this morning.  
  
“He looks like something’s eating him.”  
  
Jamie can’t argue with that. “It is just today?”  
  
“No, he’s been like that a lot lately.”  
  
“Haven’t really noticed,” Jamie admits with a frown.  
  
Jordie shrugs. “His play is still the same.”  
  
Jamie’s frown deepens because Tyler is his friend and he should notice when something’s off with him. Sure, there was a couple of occasions when Tyler seemed to be feeling down but everyone has the right to have a bad day every now and then. There’s nothing remarkable about that.  
  
Both him and Jordie turn to look at Tyler just as Spezza passes by him, tapping on Tyler’s helmet with his stick. Tyler gives him his fakest smile.  
  
Jordie and Jamie exchange a look and Jamie says, “Okay. I’ll talk to him.”  
  
Jordie rolls his eyes at him. “You do that, captain.”  
  
“After practise,” Jamie nods, grabbing his gloves and heading for the ice.  
  
“Don’t be too hard on him, okay?” Jordie calls after him.  


**…**

  
  
Tyler doesn’t tell him anything. He even tries to give Jamie his usual media shtick and when Jamie calls him out on his bluff, Tyler still insists nothing is happening.  
  
“Just a couple of things I need to work out on my own,” Tyler says with a light smile that drives Jamie insane.  
  
There is just no talking to Tyler and Jamie eventually gives up because he has other problems at hand. He can’t help but feel like Emma has started giving him the cold shoulder. He wrecks his brain, trying to think of a reason why she would be mad at him.  
  
He comes up with nothing but he can pin down the change in her behaviour back to the moment when he – once again – requested to meet up with her. Her persisting reluctance hurts Jamie. She doesn’t want to talk and she doesn’t want to meet which is the most puzzling thing for Jamie. She can be so loving and sweet and she makes him laugh and she really gets him in a way Jamie wasn’t sure it was possible to get someone you’ve got to know just by texting. No matter what others might say, texting someone isn’t the same as sitting down next to them, shoulders brushing, listening to their laugh, watching their gestures and grimaces.  
  
There are only two memorable occasions when Jamie has a minor meltdown and directly asks Emma for a picture of her.  
  
His hands are sweating as he types his request. _Could you send me a picture? I barely remember what you look like. ;)_  
  
First, she sends him a snap of a busy street in bright daylight and it takes him a while to notice her shadow on the pavement.  
  
_Think the lenses were facing the wrong direction, sweetie._  
  
_darn. next time_ , she responds, adding a smiley face.  
  
Jamie gives it some time and then, feeling bold enough, he asks her again. The second picture she sends as a reward for Jamie’s patience is an overexposed snap of her legs in high heels. She only writes, _oops, wrong direction again! third time the charm?_  
  
Jamie never gets to ask her for the third time.  
  
Jordie keeps telling him that it’s been dragging on forever and he needs to move on. Or, if nothing else, he needs closure.  
  
But Jordie doesn’t know Emma like Jamie does. He doesn’t have that deep connection with her. That beautiful bond Emma and him had built over the past few months.  
  
No, Jordie can’t understand.  
  
It’s just new to Jamie, being the one who wants to move the relationship further, faster. He’s used to holding back a bit. That’s just what he does. But knowing that he doesn’t have to, not with Emma, it’s liberating. It also kinda freaks him out, the lengths he would go for her.  
  
Some days he feels like he can’t stand the distance that separates them. He wishes things were easy, wishes he could get in the car and drive a few blocks and meet her at her place or take her out to dinner. He wouldn’t fret over being seen with her; she’s more important than that.  
  
There are days when he feels like he could wait on her forever if that’s what it takes.  
  
There are days when San José might just as well be in another galaxy.  


**…**

  
  
The phone buzzes in Jamie’s pocket and he hastily gets it to read what Emma has to say after her radio silence. He remembers too late the conversation Jordie was trying to have with him. When he glances up from typing a reply, they’re pulled over in front of Jamie’s house and Jordie has killed the engine off.  
  
Jamie blushes and then bows his head when Jordie starts cackling. Jamie climbs out of the passenger seat and shuts the door so hard the car shakes. Jordie climbs out, too. They share a look over the roof of the car.  
  
“Man, you’ve got it bad,” Jordie says.  
  
Jamie feels the colour creep to his cheeks. He would very much like to remind Jordie how he is about Jessica. But he keeps his mouth shut because he doesn’t want to compare Emma to Jessica. “Shut it.”  
  
“I’m just saying, man. We sure you’re not texting some twelve year old?”  
  
Jamie snorts.  
  
“Or someone’s grandpa?”  
  
“Always the optimist, brother dear,” Jamie says, fumbling with his keys.  
  
“You could be talking to anyone,” Jordie objects.  
  
“But if you really get to know them, then it doesn’t matter, whoever they really are.”  
  
“Perhaps not to you,” Jordie shoves his hands into his pockets and shrugs.  
  
Jamie looks up sharply at his brother at the remark but Jordie looks pensive, not accusatory. He finally forces the door open and takes in a calming breath to get his racing heart under control. Jordie’s with him. Always.  
  
“Maybe it’s a girl and maybe she’s of age but not sixty yet,” Jordie goes on, “but how are you sure you’ll even like her in person?”  
  
“You realize I’ve met her, right?”  
  
“Oh,” Jordie says, frowning, and judging from his expression, he did not know that.  
  
“Besides,” Jamie adds hurriedly, before Jordie could start asking where/when/how exactly he met Emma, “she’s such a sweet person, you know? Caring and–”  
  
“Ugh, spare me.”  


**…**

  
  
By the time they’re in California playing against the Sharks again, Jamie is ready. Not just for the game – he’s always ready for a game – but for Emma.  
  
_You down to meet up again?_  
  
Emma doesn’t respond to his text.  
  
For the first few hours Jamie’s doing fine, even though him and Emma tend to respond much more quickly nowadays than in the beginning of their relationship. Emma’s little intermittent spurs of silences aside, of course.  
  
He gives it until their morning practise is over and they have a few hours to kill in the town. Here goes nothing, he thinks to himself and dials her number.  
  
His heart speeds up and his throat tightens so bad he’s freaking out he won’t be able to get a word out when she picks up. Is this what she was talking about, being too shy? He hopes they won’t just breathe into the phone awkwardly, both too nervous to say a word. His palms are sweating so he at least wipes his free hand on his thigh. He notices his leg is jiggling with anxiety and forces himself to stop.  
  
He lets the phone ring. Five, eight, eleven times. Emma doesn’t answer her phone.  
  
He sits on the bench, one of the last guys to get out, and stares at his phone in dismay.  
  
“Jamie. Jamie,” Jordie sighs, coming closer. “Chubbs, she’s not calling you back. She’s never called you back,” Jordie reminds him unkindly, his eyes growing hard.  
  
“Oh fuck off,” Jamie snaps and shakes off the placating hand Jordie placed on his shoulder.  
  
It’s not until their plane back to Dallas has safely landed and Jamie is dragging his tired and beaten body back home that he receives a reply from Emma.  
  
He stares at the unopened message for long moments, the sting of betrayal already being soothed over by the excitement of getting a text from her. His mind suggests once again all the possible acceptable excuses she could have had.  
  
When he reads her belated response to his request from yesterday, his heart sinks. _i need to tell u sth. ur not gonna like it_  
  
Jamie wonders if she has kids. Kids he can handle.  
  
He types, _I just really wanted to hear you. And meet you again._  
  
_u’ll b mad n disappointd n i’m srry,i just need u to knw i’m so sry,_ is her next text.  
  
An uneasy feeling settles low in his gut. He thinks he could stomach a lot for her but he just needs to know where he stands.  
  
There isn’t a follow up, Emma doesn’t seem eager to tell him more. Jamie tries to call her again. She doesn’t pick up and she doesn’t answer any of the texts he sends next.  
  
Jamie decides it would be best to sleep on it but when he wakes up the next morning, nothing is resolved and Emma remains silent.  
  
Jamie can’t stop thinking about the text she sent him. It’s on his mind the whole day and he can barely concentrate on anything else.  
  
Jordie seems to pick up on Jamie’s bad mood and follows him home. He doesn’t push, he doesn’t ask, and that’s why Jamie likes him so much.  
  
The day passes in a haze of worry and disbelief. Jordie is there to keep him anchored.  
  
It’s getting late and they’ve been quiet for the past couple of minutes. “Jordie?”  
  
“Hn?” Jordie hums in reply, sounding half asleep.  
  
“Do you think she’s married? Emma, I mean.”  
  
Jordie opens his right eye to peer at Jamie. His smile is slow but wide. “Jamie, Jamie,” he drawls.  
  
Jamie huffs. “Forget I asked.”  
  
The cheeky smile dims a bit. “I know it’s not funny,” Jordie says.  
  
Jamie wipes a hand over his face. “Whatever.”  
  
Jordie scoots closer to him and pinches his left cheek. “What’s with the face, Chubbs?”  
  
Jamie swats his hand away. He doesn’t say anything.  
  
“I miss you, man,” Jordie says and it’s not what Jamie expected him to say.  
  
“What? I’m right here, like, literally.”  
  
“Yeah, but it’s not you. It’s that quiet, reserved side of you. Did Tyler say something about what’s bugging him? Did you argue with him? Because I know he can be quite intense at times but it’s just– I don’t even know what’s going on with him now.”  
  
“Me neither.”  
  
“Chubbs, I like seeing you happy, man. You know I do,” Jordie says frankly and Jamie knows his brother is looking at him, can feel the gaze boring into him but he keeps his eyes downcast. Jordie doesn’t have to say more.  
  
“This has nothing to do with Tyler,” Jamie groans.  
  
“Then it _is_ about Emma.” Jamie doesn’t say anything to confirm Jordie’s statement but Jordie just sighs and slumps back against the cushions. “If it’s not Tyler, it’s Emma. No one else gets to you this much. You seriously think she might be married? What gave you that idea?”  
  
“Ah, forget it.”  


**…**

  
  
After the practise next day, Tyler catches up with Jamie and basically invites himself over. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. He’s got dark circles under his eyes and his skin has a very unhealthy colour.  
  
Jamie says sure, why not, and silently wonders if maybe Tyler will finally talk about whatever has been bugging him so much that more or less the whole team had noticed it.  
  
On the drive home, the silence in the car is stifling. Jamie has a lot on his mind already, with Emma straight out refusing to meet up with him and then being weird about everything. She’s still ignoring him and there’s nothing he can do with that. But now that Tyler’s approached him at last, maybe he can hear him out and try to help. It might even do him good to take his mind off Emma for a moment.  
  
When Tyler stands in Jamie’s hallway, shoulders hunched and his coat still on, Jamie takes a resolute step towards him, pries the coat off him and drags Tyler in the kitchen. He seats Tyler in a direct line of sight and starts peeling potatoes and carrots.  
  
“What are you making?” Tyler asks, fidgeting. He looks seconds away from standing up and bolting through the front door.  
  
“Late lunch,” Jamie replies. There is an uneasy tension between them. Jamie clears his throat. “So. You wanted to talk about something?”  
  
For a moment it looks like Tyler’s going to say no. He is looking down, fiddling with his phone, keeping his nervous fingers occupied.  
  
Jamie slouches against the kitchen counter so he doesn’t look like he’s looming. “Tyler. Whatever it is, we’ll get you through it.”  
  
“I... I just. I’m so sorry.”  
  
Jamie looks at him, tries to convey all his support through his gaze. _I’m here for you. I’m your friend. I care about you._  
  
Tyler opens his mouth but nothing comes out. The silence stretches and Jamie has to turn away to stir a pot with potatoes that threatens to overflow. He turns the simmer down a notch and is about to turn back to Tyler and somehow make him talk, when he catches a flash of the screen on his phone. One quick look reveals the name ‘Emma’. His heart starts beating madly in his chest as he dives to answer.  
  
Finally. He feels so light-headed it’s almost embarrassing. Almost. Because this is Emma, making a move. He’s been waiting for her to do that for weeks – if not months.  
  
“Sorry, Ty. Just a second. I need to answer this,” Jamie says apologetically.  
  
Tyler doesn’t reply but Jamie doesn’t notice, too busy fumbling with his phone. He never once looks at Tyler’s face.  
  
“Emma?” He breaths into the phone, and he knows all the fondness and love he feels for her must resonate in that one little precious word.  
  
There is a sharp inhale and then a voice is cracking on the words: “I’m so sorry, so sorry, Jamie.”  
  
He can hear the words carry through the air as well as through the phone, the lag creating a little echo. Perplexed, Jamie turns his head.  
  
Tyler looks like he’s about to shatter to thousand pieces but Jamie can’t bring himself to care because his heart is sinking. His throat feels constricted and his mind is suddenly empty.  
  
Jamie breathes out. Slowly, carefully. He knows the full impact of the shock has yet to set in. He can’t look at Tyler right now. He can’t even be in the same room as him.  
  
Jamie reaches behind him to turn the stove off, then crosses the kitchen in a few measured strides. He passes Tyler without seeing him. Tyler doesn’t try to stop him but the little strangled sob he makes when Jamie walks past him twists something deep in Jamie’s chest. He grabs his keys in the hallway and shrugs on the first jacket he can reach on the racks.  
  
He feels restless as he paces around the block. It doesn’t help to clear his head at all. The crushing feeling is still there as fresh as before. He has just lost two people he hold dear. His friend, whom he trusted. And his girlfriend, whom he loved but who never existed.  
  
He feels sick to his stomach and he’s shaking when he rounds the corner back to his house.  
  
It was just a prank that went on too long and got out of hand. Tyler couldn’t have known Jamie would fucking fall for Emma, an imposed, made up creation of Tyler’s imagination. Tyler couldn’t have realized how real it all was for Jamie.  
  
Or did Tyler realize and was it why he’s been acting so weird lately? Perhaps Emma’s abrupt mood swings and silences were just Tyler hoping Jamie would break up with Emma so Tyler wouldn’t ever have to explain anything. Jamie’s mind reels but his legs carry him forward.  
  
The lights are still on so Jamie pivots on his heel and drags his body away in slow, automatic strides. He can’t stop moving.  
  
He tries again, hours later, and he finds the lights out. He’s mostly relieved Tyler didn’t stubbornly wait up on him. He doesn’t feel ready to have the conversation with Tyler. He doesn’t feel ready to talk to Tyler at all. He needs to get over himself soon, though, because they have a game in two days and an upcoming road trip after that. Tyler’s timing sucks. Though it’s not like there is a good time to tell your friend, who is also your teammate and your captain, that you’ve been having him on for _months_.  
  
Jamie comes into his living room, intending to switch on the TV in hopes it could take his mind off things. He flips on a lamp and freezes when the soft light reveals a sleeping figure huddled in his armchair.  
  
He must make some noise because the figure jerks awake. “Fucking finally,” Jordie says, yawning and stretching.  
  
Silently, Jamie sinks down on his couch, his heart thumping in his chest. He can practically feel the pulse jumping in his throat.  
  
“You’ve been gone for hours,” Jordie says meaningfully.  
  
Jamie clears his throat. “Yeah,” he croaks. He doesn’t have to explain himself to Jordie.  
  
“Tyler called me,” Jordie offers.  
  
“What did he tell you?” Jamie’s heart speeds up again.  
  
“That he fucked up bad and that I should come here and try to do some damage control.”  
  
A snort escapes Jamie. “What did you say to that?”  
  
“That they won’t ever find his body when I’m through with him.”  


**…**

  
  
Tyler doesn’t show up for the optional skate, though they had agreed to work on their powerplay before – well, before. Jamie is glad because he doesn’t know if he could focus on anything like that.  
  
He misses the dynamic Tyler brings to the ice and he has no illusions about how playing with him is going to be like tomorrow. Once the practise is over, he grabs Jordie before he can make himself scarce and basically orders him to go check on Tyler.  
  
Jordie gives him a considering look, scratching his beard.  
  
“Just do it,” Jamie huffs.  
  
“And report back to you?” Jordie asks curtly, turning his look into a glare.  
  
“Well, yeah. I’ll just wait for you at your place.”  
  
“Uh, okay,” Jordie agrees and heads over to Tyler’s place.  
  
Jamie wants to start asking questions the moment Jordie walks back through the door but he waits patiently until Jordie starts talking at his own pace.  
  
Jordie pours himself a drink that he downs right away and only then he says: “I’m telling you man, I come in, he doesn’t even notice me, just sitting on the floor holding close on that black dog of his, the other one curled around his legs and I swear he was bawling his eyes out.”  
  
“Shit,” Jamie mutters. He flexes his fingers, then forces his hands to still. A moment later, he starts playing with the hem of his shirt, tugging at a loose thread.  
  
“The dogs joined in on the wailing.”  
  
That strange feeling in Jamie’s chest might just as well be his heart breaking.  
  
“Fuck,” Jamie says and doesn’t protest when Jordie pours a glass for him, too.  
  
Jamie passes out in Jordie’s guest room and is woken up before sunrise by loud, angry voices coming from down the hallway. He opens his eyes, blearily staring at the alarm clock on the nightstand as the shouting match intensifies. One voice is definitely Jordie’s. The other is Tyler’s, who must have come back to have that talk Jordie wanted to have before. They get so loud Jamie has no problems overhearing.  
  
“That kind of deceit coming from you, Ty, that’s gonna hurt. You know how he is. I just don’t get why you would do something like that to him.”  
  
“I didn’t want to hurt him,” Tyler protests.  
  
_Just wanted to get a good laugh,_ Jamie thinks bitterly, tugging at his hair, trying to breath evenly through his nose.  
  
“Well done,” Jordie hisses in a tone that suggests he has to think hard of all the reasons why it would be a stupid idea to punch Tyler in the face. “Would it have been so fucking hard just to tell him he’s got the wrong number and that you’re not his _random hook-up gone relationship_ girl?”  
  
“It’s not like I meant to lie to him!” Tyler is raising his voice again to match Jordie’s. “He just jumped to conclusions!”  
  
“And it never once occurred to you to simply tell him? Like, maybe _right away_?”  
  
Jamie huffs and burrows his head under the pillow but the screaming match isn’t to be drowned.  
  
“I didn’t know _right away_!”  
  
“He comes on to you and you don’t realize?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Jesus Christ, how do you not realize he wasn’t talking to you? How do you not get that those come-ons weren’t just jokes but that he seriously meant it?”  
  
“Maybe I thought he seriously meant it! Maybe I’m really just that stupid!” Tyler yells. His voice breaks over the last word.  
  
Jordie doesn’t say anything. Jamie can only imagine him staring at Tyler, eyes wide. _Everything_ shifts into a whole new focus.  
  
Then there is the sound of the front door slamming shut.  
  
Jamie bites down on his lip, the pillow still over his head, when he hears the door to his room crack open. He pretends to be asleep but Jordie hasn’t fallen for that since he was twelve and he doesn’t fall for it now.  
  
“Um. So you heard that,” Jordie says.  
  
Jamie grunts, the sound coming out muffled.  
  
“Jesus man,” Jordie exhales, smacking Jamie’s back. When that doesn’t get Jamie to turn over and face the world, Jordie just stills his hand over Jamie’s backs, holding on.  
  
They stay like that for a while, Jamie with his head burrowed under the pillow, Jordie sitting on the bed, unusually quiet for once.  
  
“I said it before little bro, I’m with you no matter what,” Jordie whispers eventually, then gives Jamie a single poke and adds, “or who.” He walks out of the room, leaving Jamie in his own headspace.  
  
It’s still unfairly early and Jamie doesn’t have to get up for _hours_ and his head is killing him. Jamie pokes around his phone, pulling up the early texts from ‘Emma’. He reads over the conversations, tries to figure out where it went so wrong, where Tyler realized Jamie had no clue he was talking to Tyler. He must be a masochist.  
  
He passes out again, still holding the phone.  
  
Jamie is already awake when Jordie comes to wake him up.  
  
Jordie sighs. Jamie, elbows on his knees, hiding his face in his hands, sighs as well. “I feel so stupid.”  
  
Jordie comes closer to squeeze his shoulder. His hand lingers, poking that place right beneath Jamie’s shoulder blade. Eventually, Jamie has to smile at that, because it’s just like they’ve always been. Jamie leans into the touch.  
  
“You’re not like, going to eat your weight in ice-cream, are you? Because that would fuck your diet so bad. So bad, Chubbs.”  
  
Jamie doesn’t say anything.  
  
“Though I have to say I bought your favourite,” Jordie offers. “It’s in the freezer.”  
  
“Let’s just have breakfast and prepare for the game,” Jamie manages to say.  


**…**

  
  
The game against Buffalo is a _disaster_. Jamie wishes he wouldn’t have to face the world but responsibilities are responsibilities.  
  
Jordie comes to Jamie’s later, with Tyler in tow. He even bothers to ring the bell and when Jamie opens the door and sees Tyler standing there awkwardly, watching his feet intently, unable to look Jamie in the eye, he wants nothing more than to slam the door shut in his face. He doesn’t want to deal with any of this now but Jordie gives him the big brother look and Jamie opens the door wider to let them both in.  
  
The first ten minutes are tense and mostly silent but Jordie is really trying, Jamie has to give him that.  
  
They sit in the living room to watch a TV show Jordie insists they have to see and that conveniently airs just now.  
  
They are doing just fine until Jordie’s phone rings and he gets up from the sofa and walks over to the veranda to answer it. He even shuts the sliding glass door and Jamie can see him walking back and forth, talking animatedly with his free hand.  
  
When Jamie turns his attention back to the TV, he finds, much to his dismay, that they’re watching the adverts now. He opens his mouth and glances at Tyler but no sound makes it past his lips.  
  
Tyler’s shoulders are tense and the way he’s leaning back against the sofa is anything but relaxed.  
  
Jamie’s throat suddenly goes dry and he can’t think of anything to say. There isn’t a topic they haven’t broached with Emma and Jamie isn’t ready yet to hear any of the opinions from Tyler. To think about the connection between Emma and Tyler makes him feel like he’s falling down the stairs.  
  
There is an uneasy silence between him and Tyler, one that even the TV commercials cannot break, no matter how loud they get.  
  
Tyler snaps during one of the our-insurance-company-is-the-best adverts, reaches for the remote and mutes the TV. “Are you mad at me?”  
  
Jamie says nothing. His eyes are fixed on the stupid commercial and he feels his neck and shoulder going rigid.  
  
Tyler sniffs. His voice is hushed but with the TV sound cut off Jamie hears him perfectly clear. “I don’t want my best friend to hate me,” Tyler says.  
  
Jamie takes in a steadying breath and slowly lets it out. “I don’t hate you. I’m still hurt. But I don’t hate you, Ty.” He isn’t sure how much can Tyler read in the timbre of his voice.  
  
“You’re mad at me,” Tyler says and this time Jamie realizes it’s not a question, it’s a sad, quiet acknowledgement.  
  
Jamie can’t stand that tone of Tyler’s voice. “I’m not mad at you, Ty. You’re still my friend.”  
  
Tyler starts crying. “It’s – it’s so much, it means so much.”  
  
“I can never stay mad at you for long.”  
  
The tears keep sliding down Tyler’s face but Tyler doesn’t make a sound. Jamie wishes they were sitting closer so he could reach out and nudge Tyler. He doesn’t want to lean over and invade Tyler’s personal space all of the sudden. Tyler might read too much into it, or worse, he could shy away from the comforting touch.  
  
Jamie sighs. When did talking to Tyler became so difficult? “I can never stay mad,” he repeats quietly.  
  
Tyler nodes mutely.  
  
The commercial break is finally over and Jamie turns his head to the screen, pretending to be immersed in the programme. From the corner of his eye, he can see Tyler pretending to do the same while wiping off his eyes into his shirt.  
  
Jordie returns a few minutes later. He takes three steps into the room, then freezes. “Shit,” he says, eyes darting between Tyler and Jamie. “Oh shit.”  
  
“Oh shit, we’re fine,” Jamie says, keeping his eyes on the TV. “Come sit your fat ass down.”  
  
The next match isn’t a complete massacre.  


**…**

  
  
Two very awkward weeks later, they are finally having the conversation Jamie has been dreading.  
  
“I just don’t get it,” Jamie says, running his hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve gotten a new number in the first place?”  
  
“But I told Jordie to tell you. I tried calling you from the old number to tell you but you wouldn’t answer, so I called Jordie instead and he said he’d let you know so I just texted you from the new number next.”  
  
Tyler breaks off to look up at Jamie but Jamie remains silent. He knows the part that comes next all too well. Or, he thinks he does.  
  
“And then you replied to me and I didn’t even realize at first. That you didn’t know.” Something desperate creeps into the tone of Tyler’s voice. Jamie doesn’t like it.  
  
“But then?” Jamie prompts quietly because he needs to know. Tyler kept texting him, after all.  
  
“Then I was in too deep and I didn’t want to stop. It just spiralled out of control.”  
  
Jamie snorts.  
  
Tyler clears his throat. “I also didn’t want to fuck up the team.”  
  
“Ah, yeah.”  
  
“I tried to make you forget about Emma. I tried to break it off between you and her.”  
  
That would indeed explain the cold shoulder Emma was giving him for nearly a week for no obvious reason as far as Jamie could tell.  
  
“I also tried making you like... me,” Tyler continues, ignoring how his voice cracks.  
  
“Except I already liked you – you as Emma.” Which would explain Tyler being so miserable.  
  
Tyler makes a small displeased sound.  
  
“Tyler,” Jamie starts but he doesn’t know what to say next.  
  
“I’m such a mess. God.”  
  
“Tyler,” Jamie says, harsher this time, as a reprimand. “You’re– you’re not a mess.”  
  
Tyler gives him a look. He looks crestfallen, his eyes are too bright and there’s a tension to his jaw Jamie’s not used to seeing. He moves in on instinct, one arm sliding along Tyler’s backs, the other grasping Tyler’s hip. He feels Tyler go absolutely still but he keeps holding on until Tyler relaxes against him.  
  
Tyler’s hand moves to grip Jamie’s arm on Tyler’s hip and he slides his hand so they can hold hands. “Shh. It’s okay.”  
  
“Is it? You know I… that I, um...,” Tyler trails of. “Yeah.” He clears his throat. “I do care about you.”  
  
“You have such a weird way of showing it,” Jamie says almost fondly. There is something surreal about having Tyler this close and seeing how vulnerable he is, how unhappy he is because of Jamie.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Tyler croaks.  
  
“You have to stop saying you’re sorry. I just need time to adjust to this whole thing,” Jamie says. “I really liked Emma and it’s not like I lost her, she’s just... you.”  
  
“I’m sorry it’s just me and not, ah, whoever you thought I was.”  
  
“You _are_ who I thought,” Jamie says, quiet but firm, because he knows it’s true. Emma has been funny and caring and loveable and all that shit but she hasn’t been Emma at all. “I just need time,” Jamie repeats. The Emma he fell for still exists, just in a different model than the ditzy girl from San José.  
  
“I know.”  
  
Turns out, it doesn’t really take that much time. Seeing Tyler all the time, being around him and just thinking about what it might be like between them – Jamie realizes he wants to take this chance. He technically already took the chance but that was with Emma. It is only fair to see if things would be just as easy with Tyler, if it would still feel so _right_ now that it is for real.  
  
He catches up with Tyler one day after practise and tries to tell him that much, stumbling over his words, getting all choked up under Tyler’s surprised and intense gaze.  
  
Luckily, Tyler has had quite a lot of practise with reading Jamie and he seems to get the point. “Are you…? Are you saying…?”  
  
Jamie feels his cheeks turning red. “But I want to do this right.”  
  
“Like, dating and stuff?”  
  
“And stuff,” Jamie nods, a small smile creeping onto his face.  
  
Tyler’s eyes are wide and he speaks just a bit too fast. “Like going out somewhere for dinner? Just the two of us?”  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
“Like, say, when we have the next day off? Uh, this Thursday?” Tyler’s face looks alive again and there is hope clearly visible in his eyes.  
  
“This Thursday,” Jamie confirms.  
  
On Thursday evening, Tyler is waiting for him in the hallway. He looks nervous. Jamie smiles at him. “Ready to go?”  
  
“Sure.” Tyler peels himself off the wall and reaches his hands to Jamie. Jamie comes close to him, still smiling.  
  
“Hi,” he says, returning the embrace. With his heart beating fast, he gives Tyler a brief peck on the lips.  
  
“Hi,” Tyler echoes.  
  
A silence stretches. Jamie wonders if it is awkward or it is just him.  
  
Then Tyler looks up at him through his lashes and says: “You know, you look even better than in the pictures.”  
  
Jamie takes a step back, the smile slipping away. “Well, you don’t.” Emma never wanted to _speak_ on the phone and she never sent him a picture of her face despite having actually met him and now that Jamie thinks about it, it should have been a huge clue.  
  
Tyler winces. “Jamie,” he says, face scrunching up. “I’m so sorry.”  
  
Jamie sighs and reminds himself that Tyler is just an idiot who never knows when to stop pushing his luck. The awful sense of humour comes with the territory. He knew what he was getting into. Kinda.  
  
He forces the smile back on his face. “Like hell I’m missing any chances to rub it in your face. Let’s get going. I don’t want us to be late.”  
  
Tyler falls into the step with him, plasters himself against Jamie’s side and sneaks one hand into Jamie’s back pocket. “I didn’t ruin tonight, right?” Tyler mumbles into Jamie’s ear. His voice sounds small.  
  
Jamie pauses, then pushes Tyler against the wall, caging him with his arms. “Of course not, Ty,” he says, diving in for a kiss which Tyler eagerly returns. “We’re going to be so late.”  
  
“How about a takeout instead?” Tyler gasps, breathless.  
  
Jamie drops his head, muffling his laughter against Tyler’s shoulder. “Yeah, okay.”


End file.
